KOIP: If Only They Knew

Humming along to the melodic tune streaming from the speakers, Oriana maneuvered through the kitchen as she carefully prepared two tupperware containers full of lunch. No matter how hard she tried Oriana couldn’t seem to shake the smile from her lips. It was as if a brilliant bright light had been placed in her chest and all she could do was beam happily as she went about her business. She was acting like a fool and she knew it.

It had been three days since her last date with Kolyat and they had messaged each other back and forth everyday since, except for today. She’d messaged him good morning five hours ago and had yet to receive a response. Nervous that maybe he had suddenly lost interest in her, Oriana had decided to make and bring him lunch. She knew that he might think it creepy, maybe a bit clingy, but the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ didn’t exist for nothing; and Oriana wanted to be as much on Kolyat’s mind as he was on hers.

She’d learned enough about Kolyat to know that he didn’t really appreciate surprises, but he’d probably learned enough about her to know that she enjoyed pushing his buttons from time to time. As she put the containers into a bag, Oriana wondered whether or not she should call ahead and give him a heads up that she was stopping by for lunch. After a second she dismissed the thought. This was a surprise, she wasn’t going to ruin her own surprise.

Oriana left her apartment and stepped into the steadily moving stream of pedestrians on their way to work or wherever it was they were going. A nervous excitement started to bubble inside of her. She hoped that Kolyat wouldn’t turn her away or be put off by her stopping by. They’d only been seeing one another for a little while but she was starting to really, really like him, like a lot, and not knowing whether or not he felt the same way was nerve wracking.

Kolyat was difficult to read sometimes. It was more than him being drell, his exotic features and mannerisms so different than what she was familiar with. He was just a distant person. He’d retreat to his thoughts and be lost to the world around him as he silently brooded over things she hoped he’d one day share with her. There was this intensity about him, an underlying passion that few around him saw. Shepard saw it, it was why he was allowed to call her by her first name while she kept everyone else at arm’s length, and Oriana saw it too. Behind Kolyat’s lone wolf exterior, was a man of deeply running emotions, a man she desperately wanted to know better.

Distracted as she was, she safely made it to the C-Sec offices without incident. Officers moved to and from, maneuvering around her as they read their datapads or talked to their colleagues. Orana watched for a moment, fascinated by them so hard at work. So this was what Kolyat did for a living, this was what got him out of bed every morning. Taking in a deep breath to steady the butterflies in her stomach, she strode towards the receptionist at the nearby desk and offered the asari a warm smile.

“I’m here to speak with Officer Krios.” she stated before her attention was snatched away by a someone calling her name.

“Oriana Lawson,” Burnek said, his mandibles flaring as he grinned at her. As he walked in her direction he looked down at the bag in her hand and his turian smile grew. “You’re here just in time for our lunch break. Did you bring me anything?”

Tucking her hair behind an ear, she shook her head and apologized. “Unfortunately, Burny, I don’t know how to make anything that won’t kill you.” When the turian chuckled at her statement she asked, “Is Kolyat around?”

“He’s at his desk,” Burnek replied with a nod. “I’ll grab him for you.”

Her smile grew with her gratitude. “I’d appreciate it, Burny. Next time I’ll pick you up something too.”

“Careful, Miss Lawson,” he responded as he turned on his heel and started for the hall that lead to the C-Sec offices. As he left her in at the building’s entrance he joked, “Keep it up and I might have to try and steal you out from under Kolyat’s nose.”

She watched him disappear behind a door before shifting her gaze back to the asari receptionist and gave the woman a small smile. Taking a step away from the desk, Oriana secured her grip on the bag in her hand as she shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly overcome by her nerves. She really hoped that Kolyat didn’t think she was coming on too strong by stopping by. It was times like these that she wished she had her sister’s confidence. Miranda would’ve known how to act and what to say to make any man she wanted trip over themselves not the other way around.

A few minutes passed before the doors to the offices parted again and Kolyat strode through. Her heart leaped into her throat at the sight of him. His beautiful blue green scales looked magnificent against his C-Sec uniform that hugged his muscular physique so wonderfully. She couldn’t fight the smile from her lips even if she tried, a smile that only grew when the corner of his mouth slightly twitched at the sight of her.

Distant and detached as he was, his subtle and fleeting facial expressions always seemed to make her heart race. She made his lips twitch. She had caused an outward reaction on his typically schooled features. Others might have been intimidated by his lack of expressiveness, but Oriana saw right through that protective wall he had around him. That smirk was as good as her grin, and she was determined to see an actual grin on his lips before she had to go to class.

“Oriana,” his deep rumbling voice said as he approached. “What are you doing here?”

She held up the bag in explanation. “I thought you’d like some lunch.”

His shadowed cerulean eyes inspected her closely before he nodded in agreement, allowing his lips to be pulled into a slightly bigger smile. “Alright.”

“Great!” her grin grew before she took him by the hand and dragged him outside of the C-Sec offices to grab one of the picnic tables in the courtyard not too far away. Without releasing his hand from hers, she looked up to him and smiled warmly when she caught him staring at her.

“So,” she started, her nervousness was making her chatty. “How’s work?”

“It’s okay,” Kolyat softly murmured in response.

Oriana looked back up at him again, suddenly concerned by the monotone of his curt response. Oh no, she thought, he was creeped out by her stopping by. She’d been an idiot for not calling in advance to let him know. Now he thought she was some kind of overly attached stalker. She’d ruined it, she ruined everything.

Worrying on the inside of her cheek she released his hand when they found an empty table. She sat down and started to silently pull the tupperware containers from the bag. Placing one in front of Kolyat, who was seated opposite of her, she handed him some silverware before she attended to her own meal.

A heavy and awkward silence joined them for some time as they poked at their food. Oriana tapped her foot to keep from demanding answers from him, but after a few minutes her anxiety was too much for her to bear quietly. “Is something wrong?” He opened his mouth to answer but she spoke before he had the chance. “I know I should have called to ask if it was alright if I stopped by, but I wanted to surprise you. You didn’t message me back this morning and I thought maybe we could have lunch. I’m sorry, I just --”

“Oriana,” he interrupted her, a soft smile playing at the edges of his mouth. “Don’t apologize. I appreciate that you thought of me. Thank you.” He blinked and his gaze was no longer on her. Kolyat peered over her shoulder as the smile fled from his features and a thoughtful expression took its place. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

Poking at her food she wondered, “Anything you want to talk about?”

She took Kolyat’s responding silence as an obvious no, but he surprised her by explaining, “Today is the one year anniversary of my father’s death.”

Her gaze flicked up from her food to watch his steady features. To anyone else he would have looked completely unmoved by the admission, but Oriana saw deeper into him than what he allowed everyone else to see. Kolyat’s beautiful cerulean eyes were pained. She set down her fork and reached over the table to grab his hand.

Running her thumb over his knuckles she gently squeezed his fingers and said, “I’m sorry.” Grimacing at her terrible sense of timing, she said, “I really should have called before stopping by.”

“No,” he squeezed her fingers back before lacing his digits through hers. “I’m glad you came, and thank you for lunch. It’s just harder than I thought it would be.”

“He was your dad, Kolyat.” Oriana gave him a sympathetic smile, trying not to overstep any social ques. “Losing your dad isn’t ever an easy thing.”

Kolyat released his hold on her hand and rubbed his eyes with a scoff. “Still, he was hardly there for me growing up; even before my mother died. He was never home. My bad memories of him almost completely overshadow my good ones.” He glanced up from his hands to look at her, his features hard as he struggled to keep his emotions locked inside. “He’s been dead for a year and I’m still mad at him for abandoning me.”

His brows were furrowed with what she thought was disdain, and his pouty lips were pursed as he considered his words and the memories they probably stirred up inside of him. As Oriana watched him brood she felt herself get more and more annoyed by his silent reproach. She could understand him being upset over his father’s death, but what she couldn’t accept was his obvious self pity. She cared about Kolyat a great deal, probably more than she was willing to admit, and she couldn’t stand the sight of him feeling sorry for himself. He was better than that, she knew he was.

Arching an eyebrow, she inquired, “Do you think you’re the only person with daddy issues?” When Kolyat’s surprised gaze met hers she continued. “My biological father created me in a test tube.” She shook her head at the thought of the monster that was Henry Lawson. “He lured in thousands, thousands, of innocent lives to a facade of safety and did experiments on them until they were toys for the Reapers. My father held a gun to my head and used me as a human shield.

“I’m not trying to justify Thane’s absence in your life, and I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be angry at him.” She held his gaze, hoping that he would be able to see the sincerity of her words. Oriana really wasn’t trying to invalidate his emotions, all she wanted was to make him realize that holding on to his anger was hurting no one but himself. “All I’m trying to say is that your father acknowledged his mistakes and tried to make them right. He wasn’t perfect, but he wanted to do right by you while it still counted. And that has to count for something, doesn’t it?”

Kolyat stared at her for a while, his lips thin as he mused over what she’d said. Holding his gaze, Oriana wished she knew what was going on inside of that head of his. Had she overstepped her boundaries? Inwardly groaning, she scolded herself for her inability to keep her foot out of her mouth. She and Kolyat weren’t even officially a couple, what right did she have to reprimand him for being upset on the anniversary of his father’s death? Ugh, she was an idiot.

That was why when he sighed, “You’re right,” it took her completely by surprise. Kolyat reached back over the table and intertwined their fingers again. He offered her a small abashed smile, and said, “Sometimes I get so blinded by my anger that I forget about how hard he tried to make it right before he died.”

Daring to try and lighten the mood, Oriana replied, “I thought that perfect drell memory didn’t let you forget.”

The smile that inched across Kolyat’s lips made her heart soar. “Perhaps I’ve been hit with a few too many violin cases.”

“Maybe one more whack over the head will fix the problem,” she teased with a grin.

Oriana glanced down at their hands, admiring the exotic tone of his blue green scales against her pale white skin. They were so different from one another, differences that went beyond race. Kolyat was this deep, complex, and mysterious creature; while Oriana felt like she was an open book, her thoughts and emotions readily available and easy for him to read. Or at least they should have been.

Sometimes it was like male aloofness went beyond species. She'd made him lunch and dropped by unannounced to his place of work. Oriana held his hand and tried to touch him whenever she saw an opening. It was embarrassing how girly she got whenever she was around him. She thought that her feelings for him were obvious to see, but Kolyat still hadn't asked her to make it official. He still hadn't asked to be exclusive, and her own nonsensical insecurities were starting to wonder if maybe he was seeing other people aside from her.

Clearing her throat, she chased the thought from her mind. Kolyat might have been a drell but he was still a man, and she'd dated enough men to at least learn to not expect him to read her mind. If Oriana wanted to solidify their relationship she was going to have to make a leap of faith. It was time to jump.

"Kolyat," she swallowed in attempt to moisten her suddenly dry mouth. His gaze was curious as he waited for her to go on. "We've been out on a few dates already and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to be exclusive or something." His brows quirked with surprise and as he opened his mouth to reply, Oriana spoke before he had the chance. "I mean if you want to see other people, I understand. It's just that I like you, like a lot, and I'd like to see where this," she gestured to him and herself, "is going. But if you don't feel the same way --"

"Oriana," he interrupted her before she could embarrass herself any further. An honest to God grin started to inch across Kolyat’s mouth as he got up from his seat and moved around the table to sit on her bench. Straddling the seat, he cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her face to meet his gaze. His smile grew as he said, "I don't want to see other people."

His deep rumbling voice set her insides aflutter as she stared into the cerulean of his dark eyes. Oriana’s gaze flickered down to his lips as she breathlessly asked, “You don’t?”

Kolyat shook his head, his focus also on her lips. Slowly inching his face towards hers, he quietly replied, “No. Let’s make it official,” and pressed his lips against hers before she could formulate a response.

She melted into the kiss, her senses coming to life under Kolyat’s touch. There were few things she loved more than the feeling of Kolyat’s mouth against hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck she let a girly giggle escape her as she pulled herself closer to him. The toxins in his saliva were already blurring her senses, and combined with her excitement, she was soaring on a delightful high that wasn’t entirely to blame on Kolyat.

He wanted to make it official! He wanted to be hers exclusively and the otherway around. Another giggle burst through her and Oriana couldn’t bring herself to care that she sounded like a teenage girl swallowed up in puppy love. She took the jump and now she was falling.