To the Void and Back Ch12

Title: To the Void and Back
Author: ElCapitan18
Game: Dragon Age
Characters/Pairing: F!Lavellan and Cullen
Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Bioware

(Spoilers All)

~*~

“And what is the word for tree?” asked Cullen, watching Delani’s plush lips, waiting for her to form the word so that he could imitate her.

She smiled, her green eyes bright and flashing with content laughter. Speaking slowly so that he could listen to her nuances, so that he could see the shape of the word on her lips, so that he could hear where to properly place the accent, she answered, “Adahl.”

“Adahl.” he repeated, smiling to himself.

What a strange and beautiful language she spoke. Cullen knew that it would take time for him to properly learn it, but he wanted to. Delani often spoke with Solas in Elvish. She also spoke in it with Cullen, whispers while they kissed, and he wanted to know what she was saying, he wanted to speak it back to her. Cullen wanted to speak to her in a language that was so dear to her heart.

Already Cullen knew how to introduce himself, and how to say thank you. Smiling confidently, he stated, “Emma Cullen.” It wasn’t exactly a difficult phrase, but he was learning, and he loved how Delani grinned when she heard him speak her native tongue.

“Ir sul’dirth, vhenan’ara,” she happily replied, praising him for remembering the wording and pronouncing it correctly.

Bowing his head in gratitude, Cullen inserted, “Ma serannas,” and smiled to himself when Delani’s grin grew.

They were in the garden again, not too far from where Cullen had set up the picnic for the both of them. He felt an irritatingly familiar warmth start to spread under his cheeks as he remembered how far their kiss had gone and how quickly they had lost themselves to it. If Hawke hadn’t interrupted —he still hadn’t forgiven her for the intrusion— Cullen wondered how far it would have gotten.

The moment that Cullen had traced the shape of Delani’s ear with his tongue she had become a woman possessed. She had kicked his feet out from under him during their sparring match, Cullen knew how swiftly and effectively she moved, but that time had been different. When Cullen had tasted the shell of her ear, had traveled its length from lobe to tip, her entire body had reacted to him.

Her moans had stoked the flame burning dangerously inside of him, her back had arched to press her chest to his, her fingers had clasped at him with senseless desperation, and Cullen had reveled in it. Then, a fraction of a second later, Delani had shoved him onto his back and mounted him faster than he could react to it. One moment he had been sucking on her earlobe, and the next he was bewilderedly staring up at Delani’s narrowed gaze, his instincts warning him that he was about to be devoured by a foe he could not defeat. Delani may as well have been a dragon; she had certainly looked the part.

Chaste kisses never lasted between them. He found it astounding how quickly simple affection was melted away by the heat of passion when his lips were pressed against hers, when her body was hugged to his. It was dangerous how badly he wanted her, how uncontrollably his body reacted to hers. Cullen had always prided himself on his sense of control, but when it came to Delani he traded that control for mindless abandon. What was worse was that he couldn’t bring himself to be bothered by it. If anything, Cullen wanted to test the taste of her ear again.

Shaking his head, Cullen dismissed the thought. He cared for Delani more than she could possibly know. He did not want to soil their relationship by mindlessly succumbing to carnal desires. She was deserving of adoration, of fervent worship, not a meaningless tumble in the middle of Skyhold’s garden. There was no doubt in his mind that Cullen would have Delani, that he would know her as only a man could know a woman, but it would have to wait until the right time.

When his body had grown too warm with his wandering thoughts, Cullen cleared his throat and blinked himself back into reality. The cold mountain air helped to cool the desire inside of him that had started as an ember and had easily grown into a flame. The smell of blooming flowers helped to keep him grounded, and the weight of curious gazes helped to remind him that they were not alone as they had been before.

All of the paperwork that Delani had been avoiding for weeks had finally caught up with her. Josephine had managed to corner the Inquisitor, and remind her that reports and requisitions were a very important part of her responsibilities. After her scolding, Delani had skulked into Cullen’s office and pouted about how badly she didn’t want to fill out paperwork.

Unable to resist the adorable pout of her lips, Cullen had proposed that he keep her company while she attended to her regretted, and neglected, duties. He had his own paperwork to fill out, countless reports that needed to be read through, and he would be more than happy to do them beside her. “Perhaps pleasant company will make the task less of a chore,” he had said to her, hoping that she would agree to the arrangement.

Delani’s response had been an eager and immediate yes. She had practically bounced on her toes with excitement before running off to gather her papers and meet him in the garden. Now, more than an hour later, Cullen had already sifted through his own paperwork and finished what he could while away from his desk. To pass the time, and to distract Delani from her distaste of her current task, Cullen had decided to learn some Elvish. He wasn’t as quick of a study as he hoped he would be, but he was retaining more than he had originally expected himself to.

Tapping his fingers on the table dividing them, Cullen stared at Delani’s lovely profile. Her nose was so delicate, its shape refined, small and cute as a button. Her lips were full, naturally swollen, and currently her bottom lip was being gnawed between her teeth. She was resting her cheek in the bed of her palm and absently dipping her quill into the inkwell with no true intention of using it. The crimson color of her vallaslin was beautiful against the bronzy tone of her skin, and reminded him that it traveled well past the the collar of her tunic.

“So,” Cullen started before his mind could wander back down the dangerous path he had just turned away from. When Delani’s sea green eyes lifted from the parchment scattered across the table before her, and met his gaze, he asked, “If vhenan’ara means ‘my heart’s desire’ does that mean that vhenan means ‘my heart’?”

An embarrassed smile unraveled across her lips. Shaking her head, Delani explained, “That was actually just laziness on my part.” Her cheeks flushed and she brushed her bangs out of her face. She gave Cullen a coy look and said, “Vhenan means heart, and vhenan’ara means heart’s desire. Without ma I was just calling you ‘heart’s desire’ without claiming you as my own.”

He couldn’t help the smile that pinched the corners of his mouth. She was so damn cute when she looked all abashed like that. “It’s the intent that counts, right?” his grin grew when the blush on her cheeks deepened. Her eyelashes fluttered and Cullen couldn’t help himself when his hand reached over to trace the curve of her cheekbone.

Remembering himself, Cullen reluctantly retracted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave the garden a cautious once over. A few curious gazes were still on them, watching the both of them intently but, for the most part, they would continue to be left alone.

“What does da’len mean?”

Delani smiled, appearing happy to answer his question, “It is a term of endearment regarding someone younger than yourself.”

“And lethallin?” he asked, investigating further.

“Another term of endearment, for males,” she supplied. “It is usually used with those you are familiar with, like a clansman or a cousin.”

Humming that he understood, Cullen pursued the line of questioning. He was taking this conversation somewhere, he just hoped that she did not disapprove of where it was going. Leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table, Cullen watched Delani’s expression as he made his next observation.

“Your mother calls you da’mi.”

She nodded, her smile softening with longing for her home and her family. She missed her mother and she missed her clan, but she was happy to have this conversation with Cullen. “It means ‘little blade’,” she explained. “My father started to call me it when he noticed my proficiency for daggers.”

“You don’t talk much about your father,” Cullen stated, straying from his original purpose in initiating this line of questioning, feeling as though he were treading on untested ground.

Was their relationship too new for him to pursue this topic? Perhaps, but Cullen desperately wanted to know what had happened. Delani’s entire demeanor would change at the mention of her father. Her posture would open while her beautiful features would glaze over with an expression he could only describe as ashamed. Was she ashamed of the man, or of herself? He couldn’t help how badly he wanted to know.

“No,” Delani agreed and Cullen picked right up on the warning in her voice, despite the nonchalance of her tone. “I don’t.”

Knowing that she wanted him to drop the topic, that was precisely what Cullen did. She didn’t want to talk about her father, and it wasn’t his place to press the matter further. He hadn’t even meant to bring it up, it was his curiosity that had gotten the better of him.

He cleared his throat and returned to his original purpose. Smiling in attempt to lighten the mood once more, Cullen observed, “It seems that everyone you care for, and who cares for you, has an endearment at the ready.” He placed his hand on top of hers and skated his thumb over the back of her hand before asking, “But what do I call you?”

The blush that spread under Delani’s cheeks was so damned endearing that he couldn’t help the smile that quirked the corner of his mouth even if he tried. She bit her lip, trying to hide the simper his words had pulled from her, and it was a failing effort. Leaving the quill in the inkwell she’d been splashing it in, Delani placed her hand on top of his and gently squeezed it.

A melodic laugh sounded from her, and she shook her head in answer to his question. “After how long it took for me to get you to call me by my name, I am perfectly content with you calling me Delani.”

Cullen returned her smile with a lopsided one of his own. Though she had a point, he remained largely unsatisfied with her answer. Delani was so meticulous with her endearments, only giving them to those she fiercely cared for. It seemed only right that she had one for herself, that he give her an endearment that verbalized how much she meant to him, and how deeply he cared for her. Terms like sweetheart or my dear felt so lacking when compared to the soul crushing weight of the Elvish tongue.

He would learn more of her language, and he would find the endearment appropriate for her. For now, he would oblige her in the simplicity of her request. Smiling in understanding, Cullen replied, “Ma nuvenin, Delani.”

“Ma seranas, vhenan’ara.” She said, patting his hand before begrudgingly returning her attention to the paperwork still left unfinished, and started to tend to the pile once again.

Leaning back in his seat, Cullen sucked in a deep breath and admired how the leaf covered trees filtered the sun’s harsh light. There was a chirping of songbirds in the garden, the sound displaced considering how far up the mountain Skyhold was located. Wondering how the birds had found the safety of the fortress, he admired their tunes as they skipped across the tree branches and into the sky. Theirs was a lovely song when compared to the guttural cawing of Leliana’s crows.

At the feeling of someone approaching their table, Cullen pulled his gaze from the overhanging tree branches to find the woman taking long, graceful strides in their direction. There was a smugness to Hawke’s face as she watched them, an overly confident gleam to her blue eyes that had been there since the first time he had ever met her.

A memory surfaced at the sight of her expression, an image of a younger, more spritely version of the woman inviting him to drinks with her and her friends. Her eyes had shown with a flippancy that Cullen had always found off-putting.

He could easily remember the fervency with which she’d used to pursue him, how she used to call all the stops in attempt to woo him. There was no arguing that Hawke had a certain beauty and charm about her —and that had not changed over the years— but the fact of the matter was that Cullen had never felt an attraction strong enough toward her to feel inclined to scale her protective walls built by sarcasm and irreverence.

Hawke had always been a wildcard. Her first year or so in Kirkwall had been a trying one. The Order knew of her sister, they’d known from the start that Bethany was an apostate. The reason they had not immediately brought her to the Gallows was because of how they expected Hawke to react to the abduction of her sister. If they’d knocked down the Amell’s door and taken Bethany, Hawke would have put up a fight that would’ve taken too many Templar lives.

He and Knight-Commander Meredith had decided that it was best to wait until Hawke put distance between herself and her sister. The only way to safely secure Bethany, without losing men to Hawke’s fury, was to do it while the sisters were separated. But the Hawke siblings had gone with Varric into the Deep Roads and Bethany’s magic was no longer the Order’s concern.

For all her claims of neutrality, Hawke’s distrust of Templars put her and Cullen at odds more times than he could count. She had assisted the Order enough times to give her breathing room, but whenever an opportunity arose to defend the mages she had taken it without pause. In the end, when Kirkwall’s Chantry had been decimated, Cullen had known without a shadow of doubt which side she would chose. Sometimes Cullen couldn’t help but wonder how things might have gone differently if she had just had some faith in the Order.

He forced a smile onto his face once Hawke was near enough to the table to pull Delani’s attention from her papers. Hawke’s gaze moved between them, her smile large on her lips, the mischief in her eyes was different than the kind he adored seeing in Delani’s green gaze.

Crossing her arms in front of her bust, Hawke said, “Nice to see you two lovebirds have some sense of decency.” by way of greeting.

Delani set down her papers and swiveled around in her seat to face Hawke. Perching her arm on the back of her chair, she smiled up at the other woman and shrugged. “Not much,” she replied, a joke in her voice, a laugh in her eyes. “But we figured that we had scarred you enough the last time you snuck up on us unannounced.”

When Delani gestured toward one of the two available seats at their table, Hawke accepted the invitation to sit with a smile. A weary breath puffed out of her as she made herself comfortable. Her voluminous curls were a disarray over her shoulders, wild and unpredictable just like the woman herself. When she regarded Delani it was with a warmth in her eyes, and the softness did not go unnoticed by Cullen.

His gaze moved to Delani then, and he watched as the two women shared a moment of wordless conversation. Their similarities were not lost on Cullen, he knew that both women were prone to fits of sass and snark, but for some reason it was only Delani’s playfulness that ensnared him so completely.

“Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that this is a goodbye?” wondered Delani as she softly stared at Hawke the way she reserved only for her closest friends. “Your injuries haven’t completely healed already, have they?”

A somber smile inched across Hawke’s lips and her shoulders jumped with a lethargic shrug. “They’ve healed enough for me to travel.” She answered, confirming Delani’s suspicions. “Though the Inquisition has been most hospitable, I figure it’s best not to wear out my welcome while I still have it.”

Delani moved in her seat, pulling herself closer to the other woman. Placing a hand on Hawke’s knee, she assured her, “You are always welcome here, Bella. You know that.”

The familiarity with which Delani regarded Hawke surprised him. Cullen looked from one woman to the other, watching them interact as though they were sisters. When he had first learned that Hawke was at Skyhold he would have never guessed that the two women would get along so well. Their similarities were too great, and their differences even more so. He had assumed that they would be at each other’s throats, like how strong minded personalities so easily became. Cullen had been wrong. He should have known that it was impossible for anyone to dislike Delani outright.

Patting Delani’s hand on her knee, Hawke smiled and rebuked, “You say that now,” before a chuckle eased out of her.

Delani reclaimed her hand and leaned back into her seat. Giving Hawke a measured look, she wondered, “Where will you go?”

“I have to swing by Val Royeaux to gather some supplies, then I go north,” said Hawke, tousling her curly hair away from her face. She scanned over the garden, inspecting all of its inhabitants in a way that made it clear that it was a task done by reflex. Since the occurrences of Kirkwall, Hawke had to remain always on her guard, even here.

She cleared her throat and continued with the rest of her answer. “The Grey Wardens are moving to regroup at Weisshaupt and, with everything that happened with Stroud, I feel as though I owe it to them to lend my assistance.” Her smile cut off whatever argument Delani was about to give, an argument Cullen assumed that they’d already had before. “Besides, it’ll be good to see my little sister again.”

When Delani didn’t immediately reply, Cullen’s gaze was pulled to the beautiful elf woman. She was staring at Hawke thoughtfully, her brows furrowed, her lips thin. He could tell just by looking at her that she wanted to say so much to the other woman, but couldn’t give voice to the words. It was the look that one friend gave another when they thought that they would not see each other again.

Quietly, Delani asked, just short of pleading, “You will write me, won’t you?” Allowing a morose smile to lift her lips, she added, “Keep me informed on your travels and how you are doing?”

“Probably not,” Hawke said with a laugh and a shake of her head, and Cullen tensed at the sound of her flippancy.

Could Hawke not tell how badly Delani wanted to stay in touch? Did she not care that she had made a friend in the Inquisitor? If there had been any doubt as to why he’d never felt an attraction to Hawke before, it was just answered. Hawke was facetious and thoughtless. She didn’t take the feelings of others into consideration before cracking her jokes. She did not care that her playful and sarcastic tone sometimes hurt those who cared for her. Hawke demanded respect but gave none in return, and he could simply not accept that.

If she noticed the pointed look Cullen was giving her, Hawke gave no outward sign of it. Offering Delani an apologetic smile, she explained, “I am not very good at keeping in touch. It is one of my very few faults.” When Cullen quietly scoffed her smile grew and she threw a wink in his direction. Returning her attention to Delani, she was the one to reach over and place her hand on top of the Inquisitor’s.

The joke faded from her eyes, the mirth fell from her features, and for a moment Hawke was the most serious that Cullen had ever seen her. “Delani,” she started, her voice soft, level. “I’d like to thank you for my life. As much as I know that it should be Stroud going to Weisshaupt, I can’t help but think about how cross Fenris would be with me if I’d let myself get killed.” A weak smile lifted her lips and Hawke shook her head as she thought about it. “He would have killed me.”

Delani stared at the other woman for a moment before standing from her seat and pulling Hawke into a tight embrace. At first Hawke stiffened at having herself wrapped up in the other woman’s arms, but after a moment she allowed herself to return the affection.

When they separated Delani tucked her hair behind her ear, and gave Hawke a small smile. “Good luck on your travels, Bella. Dareth shiral.”

“Thank you, Delani,” Bella said, her voice strained. Clearing her throat, she allowed a sardonic simper to unravel across her lips and said, “When you see Corypheus again send him my regards.”

“I will,” Delani assured her with a shake of her head.

Narrowing her eyes, Hawke forced her expression to turn serious before adding, “If you get Varric killed I will never forgive you.”

Delani nodded her agreement and her understanding. “I would never forgive myself,” she easily admitted.

Satisfied with Delani’s answer, Hawke moved her gaze to Cullen and her smile grew into a teasing grin. He nearly groaned at the familiar sight of it. “It was nice to see you again, Cullen.” Glancing quickly at Delani, she stated, “Take care of her, will you? Thedas cannot stand to lose her.”

“Neither can I,” he inserted before standing to his feet and rounding the table. He offered Hawke his hand and gave it a firm shake when she took it. When her grip loosened, he released her hand with a farewell, “Andraste preserve you, Hawke.”

Her smile was grateful before she looked back at Delani and pulled her in for another hug. She shook Delani as she hugged her, squeezing the petite woman tightly as though she were trying to absorb her into her body. When Hawke finally set Delani back onto her feet there were actual tears in her eyes, but she blinked and they were gone. She cleared her throat again and this time Cullen understood why. Hawke was actually getting choked up about her departure, it was endearing to see that she and Delani had formed such a bond in such a short time.

“Do try not to get yourself killed while you're saving the lot of us, alright?” She gave Delani a stern look, the request a serious one even if her tone was jesting. When Delani nodded that she would try, Hawke waved them goodbye and left them to stand in the garden and watch her leave.

A long and weighty sigh expelled from Delani before she sat back down in her seat and returned to her reports. Cullen found his way back to his seat and, once he was settled in, took a few seconds to watch as Delani sifted through the papers littering the table top. If she and Hawke had become so close then surely the topic of the mage rebellion in Kirkwall would have come up in conversation between them. Though Delani had chosen to ally with the Templar order, Cullen still did not know exactly where Delani stood on the subject of mages and Templars, or if she had an opinion at all.

Deciding to find out, he observed, “You and Hawke have grown rather close.”

A morose smile hinted at the corner of her mouth. “We have,” she confirmed, her attention still on the reports in her hand. Briefly glancing up at Cullen, Delani stated, “Her sadness calls to me. I see a lot of myself in her.”

Cullen agreed that they had their similarities, but Delani and Hawke were far from the same women. Still, he wanted to see how far their like-mindedness went. “Have you two spoken about the events at Kirkwall?”

“Yes,” she replied, her attention on the parchment in her hands. “Not at length, but we breached the topic.”

“So you know that she supported the mage rebellion.”

His words pulled her gaze back to him. The look she gave him was measured, cautious, curious. Auburn eyebrows furrowing, she slowly observed, “Everyone knows that.” before correcting both her statement and his own. “And Bella supported mage freedoms, not rebellion.”

Shrugging, she muttered, “It just so happened that a rebellion was the only way she could help mages get those freedoms.”

Cullen’s expression flattened, his tone was cautious when he asked, “So, you agree with her?”

Her answer wouldn’t change anything, not how he felt about her, and not how much he respected and admired her. He just wanted to know what her stance was on the subject out of curiosity. Delani was an intelligent, reasonable, and thoughtful woman. Her opinions were always based off of facts and personal experience. Whatever her answer was, it had been formed after heavy thought, and all factors considered, and he would respect it.

“Yes and no,” she supplied, an apologetic smile on her lips at giving him such an indecisive answer.

Delani set down the papers in her hands in a gesture that proclaimed that she would not be picking them back up for the rest of the afternoon. Folding her arms on the table in front of her, she wove her fingers together and sighed through her nose as she considered how best to explain her meaning. After a moment of thought she tried to help him understand.

“I support mage freedoms in the sense that mages are people too,” she started, her tone neutral and calm. “They deserve to live their lives without having their most basic rights stolen from them. They deserve to live without being persecuted just for the fact that they are different. They deserve to know that they don’t have to fear others so that they may also learn that they don’t need to fear themselves.”

Sighing, Delani’s tone changed as she moved on to the ‘no’ part of her earlier answer. “It isn’t only mages that can fall prey to demons, though they might be more susceptible. I do think that the Templar order and their supervision is necessary.”

Delani paused, frustration clear in her eyes. Cullen could tell that she had a lot to say on the topic, but she didn’t know how to give voice to those thoughts, she didn’t know how to articulate her feelings in a way that would make him understand. Clenching her jaw, she sucked in a deep breath before trying again to explain her meaning.

“Mages are people, and they should be treated as such, but they can also be dangerous and that shouldn’t be forgotten.” Holding Cullen’s gaze, he could tell by the look in her eyes just how badly she wanted him to understand what she was saying. “I believe that Templars and the Circles were necessary, but I also believe that the Chantry failed both its wards and its charges.”

“The Chantry is supposed to be taking care of its people, not enslaving and imprisoning them.” She shook her head, cutting herself off before she could get off topic. “What I mean to say is that the original idea behind the Circle had its merits. The Circle was a place for mages to learn how to control their powers and how to use them. They were given an education, food in their bellies, a warm place to rest their heads, and they were safe from both outside threats and inside threats.”

“The Circle should have been a sanctuary instead of a prison. It should have been a safe place for all mages to turn to if they ever made the decision to do so.” Beautiful facial features hardening with resoluteness, Delani continued, “It should have perpetuated understanding and acceptance instead of vilifying its occupants.”

Holding Cullen’s gaze, Delani said in a stern and unbending tone, “The Circle, the Chantry, and the Templars, they all needed to change. Though I do not exactly approve of the Chantry explosion that forced the rebellion, I do agree that if drastic measures hadn’t been taken the issue wouldn’t have been addressed for years to come.”

Cullen gaped at Delani for a moment, taking in her words and the passion with which she had spoken them. Delani’s ideals on the matter weren’t so different from his own. She believed in reforming the system that was already in place, fixing the mistakes they’d made, improving the areas where the Chantry and the Order had failed.

She believed in acceptance and understanding. Delani wanted equality for all, and she felt as though she were in a position to make it possible. His chest burned with an admiration and respect that he would never be able to find the words to articulate. She was a woman beyond compare, and how she managed to so easily take his breath away was incomprehensible. Her presence alone made Cullen want to be a better man, to strive for the world that she saw so clearly in her mind’s eye. She was awe inspiring.

Still holding his gaze, her bronzy cheeks started to adopt a rosy color. Her eyes began to flutter and she bit into her lip, and Cullen realized that she was blushing nervously. Tucking her hair behind her long pointed ear, she asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” he answered breathlessly. Cullen blinked a few times but was still unable to shake the spell that she had just cast upon him. Absently he stated, “Maker’s breath, you are so beautiful.”

The flush to Delani’s cheeks deepened and a large grin stretched over her lovely lips, which she attempted to hide behind her slender fingers. “Yes, well,” she cleared her throat, still fighting off the smile that persisted on her lips, before she returned, “so are you.”

Cullen chuckled at her retort, finding her reaction to his words utterly adorable. Just then he knew what he would call her. After everything that they had discussed in their time in the garden, he knew what would be the perfect endearment for his beautiful Dalish huntress. He just didn’t have the words for it yet.

Motivated by excitement, Cullen started to gather his papers, feeling the weight of Delani’s confused gaze on him as he organized his belongings. “I just remembered something that I have to do,” he said by way of explanation, hoping that the excuse would stick long enough for him to leave the garden.

Once his papers were piled together, Cullen stood from his seat and said, “I have to speak with Solas,” before pressing a kiss to the top of Delani’s head and walking away from the table.

She turned in her seat to watch him go, “Do you want me to accompany you?” She wondered, obviously unsure about whatever it was that had just happened.

Cullen threw a curt, “No,” over his shoulder before amending his tone with a gentle reassurance, “I’ll see you tonight,” and hurried for the rotunda.


Darkness was inching its way across the sky, nearly victorious in its invasion, it wouldn’t be much longer now until night prevailed. Delani was perched on the ledge on the battlements, where Bella had hung out when they weren’t searching for answers from the Grey Wardens. Her carving knife was out, digging the shape of a halla into the block of wood in her hand.

The tavern was alive tonight, songs leaking through its windows and the doors as they opened. She’d chosen her hiding spot because she wanted to feel the warmth of the people singing and laughing in the tavern, while also staying separate from them. Delani was content to just bask in the energy permeating from Skyhold, instead of participating in it herself.

Concentrating on her project, Delani tried to gently guide her carving knife as she worked on the halla’s horns. The horns were always the hardest part. They were thin and curved so intricately. If she carved the wood too thin and put too much pressure in her movements, she was likely to ruin the whole thing. This one wasn’t a toy for the children, though if she did end up ruining it, it would certainly end up with the other figures to be used as prizes. The halla was going to be a gift to Cullen, and she hoped that he liked it.

Her heart warmed at the thought of him, at the memory of his smile and the warmth of his golden eyes. He had surprised her today. His interest in learning Elvish had caught her so completely off guard, she’d had to make sure that he wasn’t joking before starting the lesson. The fact that he wanted to know more about her people, that he cared enough to want to learn to speak her native tongue, there was no way that he could know how much it meant to her.

Delani wasn’t so good with words, neither in her tongue nor in his, but she wanted to show Cullen how much his interest in her people meant to her. He’d promised to meet her tonight, and she wanted to have the halla finished before then. After he explained to her why he had run off so abruptly in the garden she would give the figure to him and tell him how much she appreciated  both him and the gesture.

When the horns where just about as good as they were going to get, Delani used her carving knife to smooth out the sharp edges she’d missed before. The thing needed to be sanded down, but a part of her liked how rough it looked. Halla were beautiful and majestic creatures. They were intelligent, loving, and dear friends to the Elvhen, but they were also wild, they were fierce protectors of their herds and their young. Delani felt that the sharp edges better represented the halla’s beauty and wildness.

At the sound of footsteps approaching her, Delani returned her carving knife to its sheath at her belt, and tucked the figuring into the pouch strapped to her side. She knew who it was by the weight of his footfalls and the militant measurements of his strides. Without turning to face her visitor, she struggled to keep the smile from taking her lips.

“You did not make yourself easy to find, Delani,” Cullen stated, leaning his elbows on the ledge that she was seated on. Giving her a sidelong glance he wondered, “Is everything alright?”

She looked over her shoulder at him, the smile she’d been fighting back breaking through to the surface. Nodding, she assured him, “Everything is fine,” before returning his question. “How about you? Did you get what you needed from Solas?”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, abashment in his features as he replied, “I did.”

Curious, Delani inched backwards until she was back on her feet on the battlements. She turned to face Cullen, an eyebrow arched. “And?” she investigated, not liking being left in the dark as to what his whole escape had been about. “It must have been tremendously important for you to just abandon me to my paperwork.”

Chuckle rumbling through him, Cullen closed the distance remaining between them and took Delani into his strong arms. She grabbed the front of his cloak and stared up at his handsome face. “My lady,” he gasped, playfulness radiating from him. “I would never abandon you.”

She made a disagreeing sound and Cullen replied by pressing his lips to hers. A moan escaped her, unbidden. His lips just felt so damn good against hers, she couldn’t help it. Her body reacted to him before she could think. He made her senseless and Delani loved it.

The kiss was a short one, a brief moment of affection brought on by the warmth of their proximity. Cullen brushed his fingers through her auburn hair and tilted her face up so that he could stare down at her with his lovely amber eyes. After his moment of admiration had passed, Cullen released a long breath and allowed a warm smile to spread over his lips.

“I needed to ask Solas a question,” Cullen admitted, his expression turning uncertain.

Furrowing her eyebrows incredulously, Delani asked, “You ran off like decapitated chicken because you had to ask Solas a question?” When he nodded, she moved on her next question, “What was it?”

“I needed him to translate something into Elvish for me.”

Delani couldn’t fight the part of her that was insulted that he’d gone to Solas for a translation when she had been sitting directly beside him. She had been the one teaching him, why had he turned to Solas? Did he not like her method of teaching?

Unable to suppress the bite to her tone, she asked, “Am I that terrible of a teacher?”

“Not at all,” he assured her, cupping her face in his hands and brushing a quick kiss on her brow. When Cullen met her gaze again it was with the explanation, “I just wanted to surprise you.”

She stood there in silence, waiting for him to show her the surprise. The smile on Cullen’s lips turned nervous, and suddenly he looked self-conscious. Clearing his throat, Cullen took a deep breath before saying, “I know that you wanted me to call you by your name, but I wanted you to know how much you mean to me.”

Searching her face, Cullen breathlessly assured her, “Because you mean the world to me, ma atishan.”

Her heart leapt into her throat, and Delani’s fists tightened on the front of Cullen’s cloak. Ma atishan meant ‘my safe place’. Is that what he thought of her? Did Cullen truly consider her to be his place of safety, of tranquility, did he consider her to be his peaceful reprieve? She could do little more than just stare up at him, her eyes wide with surprise, her mouth slightly ajar as language escaped her.

The nervousness grew in his eyes when Delani took too long to reply. She blinked away her surprise, reaffirming herself in the conversation. She shook her head and released her hold on the fur of Cullen’s mantel. When she moved to take a step back, confusion spread over his handsome features but he let her go without argument.

Delani reached into the pouch at her side and retrieved the halla she’d hidden there. When she tugged it free, she held it out to Cullen in offering and waited until he took it from her before she spoke. She watched him inspect the figure, admiring how the smallest smile hinted at the edges of his lips.

“I wanted to do something to show you how much it means to me that you want to learn my language, how much it means to me that you care about every part of who I am.”

Reclaiming the space she’d placed between them, Delani watched as the smile that had been lingering under the surface of his mouth finally unraveled across his lips. Cullen looked up from the halla to meet her gaze and she finished, “It means the world to me, vhenan’ara, you mean the world to me.”

Carefully tucking the halla into the pocket on the inside of his cloak, Cullen pulled Delani back into his arms and forcefully pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was wet and vigorous, needy and filled with a passion that Delani had always known to lie dormant just under his surface. Cullen’s heat consumed her, his smell was in her lungs, his sweet taste stinging her mouth.

Burying her fingers in his thick blond hair, Delani leaned her body into his, losing herself to the kiss. He was her safe place just as much as she was his. She had never cared for someone as she did for him. Cullen was strong, he was protective, he was caring and compassionate. As impossible as it seemed, he had affections for her, and Delani would never know what she’d done to deserve him.

When he released her from his lips, Delani whined in protest and he laughed at her reaction. “Come,” he said, tugging her toward the steps that would lead them off of the battlements. “I promised Dorian that we would join him and Bull at the tavern.”

Delani allowed herself to be dragged toward the steps. “Now why did you go and do that?” She pouted. “I wanted to spend the rest of the night kissing you.”

Another laugh rumbled from Cullen and he grinned at her, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he smiled. “The night is young, ma atishan, you may still have your chance.”

A warmth spread through her at the sound of his endearment. She loved the way he spoke Elvish, how awkwardly the words sat in his mouth, how passionately he wanted to say them anyway. Cullen was a man like no other, and if he promised that there would be time later, Delani would spend it showing him how much she appreciated him.

Smiling, Delani replied, “I damn well better.” before tucking herself into the shield of his body.